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not yet

not yet

she said

i don’t think i love you yet

maybe eventually

perhaps in the future

she said

she’d love me soon

not yet became just a little bit longer

it became soon

soon she’d feel the same

just a little longer

soon became almost

she ‘almost loved me’

after all these years

she almost believed i loved her

the almost became a maybe

she maybe loved me

maybe we had a future

a few dates couldn’t possibly cause any harm

maybe became a little

she loved me a little

just enough to stick around a bit longer

just a tiny bit more

a little slowly evolved into yes

yes she loved me

she didn’t know how much

but she wanted to stay

then all of a sudden

the yes became a lot

and she loved me a lot

and she thought she wanted to stay forever

and i finally thought

maybe this time

she’ll stay for good

maybe this time

she won’t leave

maybe this time

it’s safe to love her more

so i did

loving her a little turned into a lot

loving her a lot turned into more than i could ever write

and it was not safe

unwritable love turned into a diamond

turned into a ring

unwritable love

sealed in a velvet box

but when the box opened

her ‘a lot’

turned into 

‘needing time’

and ‘needing’

turned into an ‘not ready’

and her love for me turned from ‘a lot’

to ‘yes’

and then her ‘yes’ turned into ‘a little’

and slowly she slipped from my fingers

as her ‘a little’ turned into a maybe

as she became more unsure


her maybe became an almost

it was there somewhere


i could almost see it

but it was fading

and the almost became ‘no longer’