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Destroy yourself

and then rebuild from ash and dust

and gravel

and stone

so that you will be harder to break in futures to come

disappear for hundreds upon thousands of years

‘til none remember your name

not even you

and until who you once were is but

a distant memory

that is quickly fading

Light yourself afire

just to watch the beauty of the dancing flames 

from closer than ever before

and to see your skin shrink

slowly turn black and brittle

fall off,

and turn to dust and ash at a touch,

Your burnt skin a color that contrasts so, so harshly

with the golden flames that consume it

Feel your blood bubble and sizzle and steam

like a pot over a fire

evaporate

so that you become a part of the atmosphere for all eternity

Burn,

so you know the feeling of icarus

as he embraced the sun before he fell

Feel your bones crumble slowly into ashes

so you can fully be remade

and so that not a particle, not an atom

of what you once did

or once were

is left whole

Cut yourself to pieces

just to see how it feels

Peel the skin from your body

And sew it into a robe

a winter coat

a memory

for the one you love the most

so they run from you in terror

and you are left alone and bleeding

Prick yourself with needles and thread

stitch colorful patterns into your skin

line your cuts with gold and jewels

sparkling brighter than the stars in the night sky

so that you will be the most beautiful of all pain

the most mesmerizing of all destruction

Tie stones to your feet 

and throw yourself into the deepest of the oceans

Feel the pressure close in around you as you sink

and feel your ribs crack and crumble

like a mountain in an earthquake

And relish in the darkness

of the ocean floor

as you die slowly

Relish in the peaceful silence

and the ominous quiet

far beyond the reach of the sun

as the air is forced from your lungs

Drown

so that when you return from the depths

you truly know the joy of breathing

And once all this has been done

Repeat it

so that your memory of it never fades

so that the pain and the scars are forever etched on your skin

so no matter how much you drink

no matter how much wine floods your throat,

or how intoxicated you become

your memory remains steadfast

and you are able to recall all you have done

just as cutting

as crushing

as boiling and burning and searing and incredible and painful as the day it occurred

And then try

try your best to erase it all

try your hardest to clear your memory of everything you’ve ever done

All you’ve ever seen

ever heard

ever tasted, ever smelt, touched, experienced.

all washed from your memory

like a city washed away by a flood

Drink until your consciousness is swept away in a sea of purple-blue wine

Drink all that is put within your grasp

Drink to destroy your mind

so it can be filled again with memories anew

Drink until you cannot see further than the tip of your eyelash

and until your vision spins and twirls with colors no man has seen before

Drink until it seems the very stars above are within your grasp

and until you can reach up and gather them into your cup

Drink the stars

Let them flow through your fingers

Drink them,

And wipe clean your mind with their power

so that you may experience life as if you never have before

Then dance, like you might fly off the ground with every step you take

Spin in wild circles

until your head spins like a hurricane at the height of it’s destruction

And use it,

use it to destroy all you see

to burn it all to the ground,

dancing among the flames

so that for centuries to come

people remember you by name

and forget the names of the empires, rulers, and history you brought down with you

And when you once again awake

years upon years upon years in the future

do it all again

over and over

and again and again

until the earth itself

ceases to be