As she sat down and stared at the screen, he wandered the shelves, looking at the various textbooks. None of them caught his eye, so he headed back to the table, only to find Angela slumped over, fast asleep, in the chair. As he carefully pushed the chair over so he could sit down, one of the other students pointed at her. “She’s been pulling all-nighters for the past 3-4 days, so let her sleep.” Adri nodded and started typing again. “That was my plan.”
Every so often as he wrote, he glanced over to check on Angela. It was pretty obvious she hadn’t slept, now that he was paying attention. See, you really don’t care about her. You only care about you, you, you. You and your pathetic emotionless self. He turned back to the paper with a sigh. Oh, now the paper is more important than her? He glanced back to check on her again. She was fine, still sleeping. Just work on the paper, dammit, you have to make up for all the work you made her do! Stop staring like an obsessive creeper, and work. So he resumed writing, but for some reason, his mind wasn’t satisfied with that. Why aren’t you checking on her? She could have fallen over, or the blanket could be strangling her! Don’t you care about her at all? Why aren’t you working on the paper, do you want her to have to work more after she already did 3 all-nighters working! Inconsiderate. But, you also have to check on her more! He pushed himself away from the desk and stared at the ceiling, yelling at the voices in his head to make up their mind, to decide what they wanted him to do, and just go away! But still, they persisted, nagging, and insulting, and dragging him back into the foggy, blurry, darkness he had only just escaped from.
“Hey! Hey, dude, what’s wrong?” Angela’s concerned face slowly came into focus. “Are you ok?”
He looked around him. He was lying in his dorm, on the floor. How did he get here? “Uh, I don’t know…I was just over there at the desk a minute ago, I swear.” He sat up, wincing as his wrists prickled with pain. He looked down and stared in numb shock at the blood soaked into his sleeves. “I might not be ok…” He looked back up at her. “What time is it?”
“It’s 9 in the morning, and it’s Wednesday. I woke up yesterday afternoon, and you were just gone, so I figured you just needed a little space, but I decided to check in on you this morning, and when I didn’t get a response from my knock, I kinda panicked a bit and picked the lock to get in, and it appears to have been for good reason…” She pulled him to his feet. “Do you have a first aid kit anywhere? After we get these cleaned up, I think you need to go to that therapist again, maybe a mental hospital if that’s what she says to do, and this time, I’m coming with you to see how I can help.”
He thought for a moment. “Uh, I might have band-aids in the bathroom somewhere.” He searched through the cabinets, as she overturned a few piles of clothes in the hallway to see if it was hiding there. “Here, found some.” Why are you trying to get better? It’s pointless! You deserve what you get, you shouldn’t try to evade it. He slumped against the wall of the bathroom, hiding his head in his hands. “Where are they?” She turned the corner, and upon seeing him sitting on the floor, crouched down to join him. “Ok, you just stay right there, I’ll find some bandages.” She started searching the open cupboards again. You don’t deserve her. She doesn’t even want you. She just wants the ‘I saved someone with depression, I’m such a hero’ bragging rights. She doesn’t care. Nobody does.